Manage Them.
Good morning, afternoon, and evening,
Today, I was able to make time, so I am not posting this blog days after the new month. I actually wanted to find a coffee shop to work on my blog, personal letter, and some work items, but I ended up staying home instead.
I was not sure about September’s blog, but I started thinking about this past week and what items I was focusing on.
One of those items was “how” I manage other people’s expectations, but even more importantly, their energy and my own.
Have you ever witnessed someone under extreme stress or frustration?
Have you ever witnessed someone that has anxiety?
Have you ever witnessed how those uncontrolled emotions can impact everyone around them?
Well…that is what I have realized for the past few weeks. That regardless of life priorities, both work and personal, I do not want to fall back into bad habits of letting my surrounding environment cause me to emulate (imitate) those same behaviors.
Need more context?
What happens when someone that is super stressed asks you to do something? Better yet, what happens when this is a daily or weekly or just every time you interact with this person? This is their default. Their communication is always of urgency. Their tone of voice communicates urgent anxiety. Their body language and gestures communicate frustration and stress.
Are you aware how that affects you and anyone else on the receiving end?
Now, for that small percentage of people who feel they are so at peace and are not impacted by others’ emotions, we will put you in a small exception to the issue, but for everyone else, this is a huge problem.
And so for me, I realized not only do I want to be careful of operating and responding within other people’s emotions. I, as a leader, mom, friend, stranger, and just a normal person, do not want to impact others when I am carrying unstable emotions.
What I mean by unstable is stress can either be manageable or unmanageable. Have you seen the difference?
The difference is someone that has control over their emotions has found safe spaces to express their frustration, and it is not work meetings, family events, public outings, and family or group chats.
They have learned they are upset and find safe spaces, whether working out, journaling, taking a 10-minute breather, meditation, a nap, working it out with God, and other methods that allow them to properly process their stress versus allowing it to be dumped on others.
The opposite of those that control their emotions is everyone gets to participate in their uncontrolled emotions. Everyone gets dumped on. Everyone in a peaceful space of joy now gets to experience their anxious energy or frustrated chastisement. The space that had all this life has now had the light sucked out of it!
I feel like you know what I mean, or sadly, you are the person who has done this to others.
You might be the person…not realizing your stress is seeping into the lives of others.
You might be the person…not realizing your tone, your behavior, and words have now become harsh, brash, and destructive.
You might be the person…not realizing that you are trauma dumping every chance you get.
And perhaps you do not mean to…but you are also not self-aware enough to stop.
So, to every reader, I know this was long, but this is the point of this long message.
Take serious inventory of how you are showing up around others when you are under stress. When you are anxious, afraid, in fear of something, angry about something, or disappointed about something. When things at work are being dumped on your plate, are you turning around and dumping your annoyance or stress onto the next person?
You may not realize that you are allowing “ALL OF THAT” to spill onto others.
Our emotions are gifts from the Father so that we can express ourselves in various ways. But take caution, as our emotions can become weaponized when we are not in control of how we choose to express them around others.
Proverbs 25:28
Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.